Shivani Ranchod | August 2022
Women’s Month. Eliciting so many feelings. Feelings of rage at the violence that women are still subjected to. An embodied feeling of the unexpressed NO – the trans-generational encoding of experiences of limited choice, of over-ridden will. “Because what matters is not what you say, but what he believes he heard[1].” Feelings of deep sorrow for what we have collectively lost in our subjugation of the feminine, and what has emerged instead: disconnection from nature, disconnection from ourselves, linearity and hierarchy, everyday violence, systems of oppression and extraction.
And then also, deep gratitude.
Gratitude for the fierce, deeply compassionate, soulful women in my life. As Lungi Nyathi said, these are my midwives, my doulas, my mentors, my fire-stokers and my compadres. The courage to be a fierce woman, standing fully in my power, comes from the love and support of these women.
Gratitude for the freedom of working in female-led organisations. Working with the feminine doesn’t negate the masculine. The two exist in a dance of interdependence, of interbeing. Masculinity without the feminine is out-of-kilter, is famished. Femininity without the masculine is mythical in a world that has been shaped by men. Making it necessary for women to come together, to remember what it means to stand in the feminine. Not a version of feminine through the male gaze, but rather some wild essentiality that has been lost and needs reclaiming. It is a pendulum swing that must ultimately come into balance and integration, but for now, is a necessary experiment.
Gratitude for the privilege of the work that we do, weaving the feminine back in: experimenting with new ways of working, redefining success, finding new language, new metaphors, rebalancing the healthcare system to centre the patient, giving voice to patients, nurturing conscious leadership.
When we talk about the patriarchy, we talk about the systems of masculinity that have oppressed the feminine. This tracks back so far into our human history that we’ve forgotten what it feels and looks like to build a society that honours the feminine.
We see this imbalance in the language we use, filled with metaphors of war, of violence, of slavery. To divide and conquer, to armour up, to sell down the river, to be a chief and an officer, to tar with the same brush, to pull the trigger. As Ursula Le Guin so eloquently describes, we have narrowed down to a single metaphor for success: unlimited growth[2]. Our economic models reflect only a subset of voices and preferences, fuelling system inequality. There is so much work to be done, so much reimagining and rebuilding.
In the Tao Te Ching[3], there is an invitation to return back to the beginning: “The beginning of everything/ is the mother of everything./ Truly to know the mother / is to know her children,/ and truly to know the children / is to turn back to the mother./ The body comes to its ending/ but there is nothing to fear.”
This women’s day, come back to the beginning. In your rage, in your sorrow, in your gratitude. Heart open, taking courage from the change that is possible.
[1] Siphokazi Jonas
[2] https://www.ursulakleguin.com/blog/33-clinging-desperately-to-a-metaphor
[3] Ursula Le Guin’s translation